11/21/2012

{Great Wall of China - May 2012}

Journal entry - 11/21/2012:

''...As always I have so much to be grateful for. I'm so grateful that I get to spend Thanksgiving with both of my siblings and so many of my extended family members. I'm finishing up school next semester. My graduation date is set and even though the end is in sight, I think the mountain I have to climb to get there will be the tallest, toughest, and maybe even (in some ways) the loneliest of all.

6 years of school straight is a long time to get an undergrad. Two more years than I planned or even wanted to. I could have been getting my Masters during this time... clearly that was not the greater plan.

But in the past two years I have been tested and I have been stretched and have I developed some of the greater qualities of my personality and character. I have also been blessed with the time to nurture and learn from relationships and friendships that have come to mean the most to me in the past couple of years... [I would never have met a couple of people that have become closest to me] ...And mine and Kacee's friendship would not have grown the way it has if we hadn't experienced some of the adventures and trials we've had together. 

In the past whenever things got hard I would have this insanely overwhelming desire and need to get out, escape, run away, and leave it all behind me. I would literally get in my car and start driving and I wouldn't want to stop or turn around. Heavenly Father knows best. Obviously I know that, but it's so humbling to see his hand so intimately working in my life. His fingerprints have marked every part of this journey, especially through college.

I'm excited to see what things are up ahead, because even as I remember the lowest of lows and the best of the best, I am filled with gratitude for all of it. I know without a doubt that I have been where I've needed to be. Not only do I know that I'm where I need to be, I'm where I want to be. That is a huge mark of how far I've come emotionally and spiritually..."


I'm climbing that mountain. 
And it is a climb.
It's everything I thought it would be and at the same time not what I expected at all.
But I'm grateful for the things I've come across on the path and I'm pretty excited for the things up ahead. 

Come what may and love it, right?

Making it count.

Star Valley Sky in the summertime. I could really go for some of this right now. 

I have a lot of really great thoughts.

As I'm walking from the Fine Arts building to the Taggart Student Center, or driving from teaching voice lessons to work to rehearsals I have a lot of time to think (and over-think) about things.

More often than not, my thoughts wander to how I can go the extra mile to serve others and show them I care. Even if it's just in little ways like writing them a note or taking time to call and ask how they are doing. 

I've thought of specific people and thought of their needs and made mental notes to take them to lunch or stop by and visit.
And then, for one reason or another, I don't do it.
How simple is it to call or write an email? Why don't I do it? Who knows. 

Like how this Christmas I wanted to do a little something extra for my accompanist who went above and beyond the call of duty last semester. 
And of course I didn't. 
I was talking to a friend about it over Christmas break and she said "it's the thought that counts, right?" 
Well, it didn't help my accompanist out any, and I'm not feeling particularly awesome about it either. In fact, I didn't really feel like that thought counted for anything. I was really bothered by it actually. 

I'm not much of a resolutions maker, but this past month, as an unofficial New Years resolution, I have tried to be better at turning these good thoughts into actions and it has made a lot of difference! It has not only made a difference for others, but I've noticed the difference it's made for me (especially in the last couple of weeks) know that I can make someones day a little better. 

Maybe for some the thought does count for enough.
I think it counts for a lot more when I actually do something with it. 

24 things for the start of 24

24.

Twenty-four.

That doesn't sound right.

But it is. 

I am 24 years old today. And like on every birthday I do in fact feel older. It's weird.

I've been showered with many greetings of "happy birthday" through cyberspace, text, and phone calls and I've felt very loved. Thank you to each of you who took the time to make me feel a little extra loved today. 

Here are some highlights of the past day and a half:

23 was a pretty big year for me, and in all honesty, it's going to be hard to top. But I know good things are in store for year 24 (still sounds weird...)

I saw this on another blog once and thought I try it out for my birthday this year: 

24 Things for the Start of 24

Three books that helped shape me:
Harry Potter Series (but really...)
These Is My Words
Book of Mormon

Seven Things I have Learned:
  Second, third, and sometimes fourth chances aren't always a bad thing.
Be more kind than you feel at any given moment.
Dancing it out helps clear your head.
You can't change people. And that's okay.
Crying doesn't mean you're weak. 
Don't over plan your life. Leave room for the unexpected. (I'm still learning this)
Gratitude is an instant quick fix to a bad mood.

Two things I wish I could relive:
 The entire summer - including going to China last May
Christmas Eve and Day
 

Three things I wish I could do, but might never happen:
Write my own music and record a CD
Go to Europe for a summer. Or any time at all.
Get a Masters Degree.

Two things that, guaranteed, make my day better:

  Receiving a letter or note from a friend
Mumford & Sons

Three things that inspire me:

My friends. Good ideas and good advice
My grandparents

Music (how's that for specific?)

Three things that mean everything to me:

Family 

The Temple

Spending quality time with the people I care about most

 

One thing I want to change before 25: 
I want to be better at telling and showing others that I love them without being afraid of the consequences.


I have so much to catch up on this blog and in my own journals. It has been an eventful two months. Where did the time go? Lots to think about and to look forward to!