Time

When I didn't have time (like during this past school year), all I wished for was time...

Time to make new friends. Time to nurture relationships with old friends. Time to do nothing if I wanted to. Time to discover and learn new music. Time to feel. Time to replace my bad habits with good habits. Time to serve. Time to really study the the scriptures. Time to figure it out. Time to let it go. Time to go to the temple. Time to love. Time to stay in love. Time to remember. Time to forgive. Time to ask for forgiveness. Time to know who I am. Time to like who I am. Time to know my Savior. Time to organize. Time to prepare. Time to LAUGH. Time to play. Time to read. Time to teach. Time to dance. Time to take it all in. Time to slow down. Time to be with family. Time to sleep. Time to be silly. Time to take pictures. Time to understand. Time to be alone. Time to listen. Time to write in my journal. Time to make a phone call. Time to write a letter. Time to be inspired. Time to find direction.

It is now summer. 

I have nothing BUT time. 

Now I have time to think about all the things in my life that I didn't have time (and didn't want) to think about before... My days are extra long when I'm left to be with my own thoughts for the majority of the day. 

This transition between school schedule and summer schedule is has been a bit of a weird one for me. I'm learning I just need to give these changes time.

BUT: I love it. I get to spend my day with 2 awesome children and they make me laugh (and they frustrate me). I love being silly, playing with sidewalk chalk, reading Goodnight Moon at least 5x a day, eating popsicles outside, singing You Are My Sunshine and the ABC's. It's the simple things.

Bottom Line: I'm learning to love having time again, and I'm remembering what to do with it.

Thoughts:

Change.
The air is thick with it.

Today my heart is heavy.
It was a weird day for my achy heart and my crazy head and I'm glad I had a few friends around to laugh with me because I needed some laughter.


I love Sundays. I love the peace that comes with knowing that there is a plan. It's a plan of happiness and it is perfect. My heart might be heavy, but I know that my Savior knows exactly what I am feeling in the darkest chambers of my heart because he has experienced it. There needs to be pain if we are to grow spiritually and be made holy. There are certain experiences that have been made sacred to me because of the things that have happened and the feelings that I have felt and the person I have become as a result.

Be careful what you pray for. I've been praying to experience a change of heart and sure enough that's exactly what I'm getting. I look back at the last defining "change of heart" I had and I can honestly say it was one of the hardest things I've been through, I would even say that it was pretty close to being as hard as the fallout of my parents' separation and (soon) divorce. Pretty bad. What a blessing those trials have been because I learned how to tap in to the power of the Atonement in a way that I never knew existed. My capacity to show compassion, to love, and to forgive has grown.  My relationship with my Savior and Heavenly Father became much more meaningful. I'm still SO imperfect, but I'm doing what I can.

Bottom line:
Trust more
Serve more.
Love more.

I really do love Sundays.